What happened?

I was reading my friend Susan's blog today and she had posted an old Journal entry from I believe 1994. It was so fun to read what she was doing at that time and while I was doing the lunch dishes and trying to bring some order to my house I started thinking and have come to this conclusion: I don't remember anything, at least not too much before the age of 21 and then it's even a lil shady after that. There are so many wonderful friends I have had and lost touch with, even during High School and I wonder what happened. I understand now in my ripe old age the importance of journal writing and that you can't possibly remember everything. Although I do remember having the thought at several times in my life when I was at "something" and thinking I'll never forget this day/night/experience, now I don't even remember what it was other than the actual thought.

I do have a few journals here and there but I don't think I recorded too much in high school. I'm afraid that if I did it was more than likely about some guy who I had a crush on and felt shunned by. Hopefully I haven't been that shallow my entire life. I guess I'll just have to start going through those boxes and see if I can find anything to start piecing my past back together and maybe learn from it in the process.

On a lighter (?) note, why is potty training so...draining? It doesn't seem like a hard concept to me, if your holding your crotch and doing the peepee dance don't you think going to the potty would be reasonable? But with McKenna she's doin the dance and I ask her, "Do you need to go potty?" to which she resoundly answers, "NO!" My favorite is when she then stands up, folds her arms and turns her shoulders and yells "No" at me. The funny thing is if I just pick her up and RUN to the bathroom with her then she'll sit on the potty no problem and there is a happy ending. What really gets me is when she sits on the potty and pees and then 3 minutes later she's sitting on the floor reading a book and I find/smell that she's pooped in her pants. What the...? I figure if you don't want to use the potty, that's fine, put on a pull-up or a diaper until you're ready or use the potty if you like underwear. It's an either or situation to me, but the girl doesn't like pull-ups or using the bathroom. Maybe I need more compassion, more understanding...and this is how I'm going to get it by continuing to play this game. But Once again she shows me I'm definitely not in control, something I learn over and over again since the day she was born!